Heathrow takes the biscuit with a T5 Lego party!

Heathrow literally takes the biscuit for the naffest celebration of an airport terminal - although, let's face it, most of us take absolutely no interest in any airport's publicity garbage. Heathrow has a team that constantly spews out inane ideas with the aim of making air travel look like fun - even when you're being fleeced in the shops (remember the phoney not-so-special deals that offered less discount to the Chinese than other nationalities) or facing a vigorous pat-down by security. 

On Wednesday, 14 March, the airport that told everyone that Terminal Five would not lead to a third runway and the destruction of thousands of homes, is celebrating ten years of lies with a 'Lego Party'.  Sounds like the Heathrow PR team were thinking of the airport's current consultation on different ways to destroy the long-standing communities to the north of its boundary. Like Lego, you can take ages carefully building something only to have it smashed into pieces and turned into something hideous. 

Iā€™m gonna pick up the pieces, and build a Lego house, when things go wrong we can knock it down.
— Lyrics of Ed Sheeran's hit song, "Lego House"

So to celebrate the lies told by Heathrow to get permission to build Terminal Five, they are promoting a dumb Lego stunt on the airport's online Traveller blog.

Terminal 5 - built on lies and nothing to celebrate

Terminal 5 - built on lies and nothing to celebrate

Every passenger who adds to their anniversary logo with a bit of Lego (don't forget you can buy it in the airport shops) gets ......wait for it......a free birthday biscuit! It's really no more exciting than that unless you want to re-live that experience later online. While the kids are eating their biscuits in the Lego activity area, parents will apparently be able to relieve their utter boredom with some retail therapy in nearby Boots.

If you're a passenger who doesn't have children and is dreading the racket made by kids fighting over the bits of plastic, don't worry, Heathrow is providing a "roaming band" called the iPhonics to drown them out.

iPhonics - Four temporary jobs created at T5 

iPhonics - Four temporary jobs created at T5 

Clearly this is a group of young(ish) men who either have no idea why many thousands of people won't be celebrating the building of Terminal 5 or who don't care because they see being booked to "sing Happy Birthday to Terminal 5" as a good career move. Their employment will no doubt be counted in the airport-related jobs figures when CEO John Holland-Kaye is next pitching for expansion.

Terminal Five never actually created any long-term jobs. It was over budget and late, with an opening fiasco that saw flights cancelled and about 15,000 pieces of luggage going astray. 

Heathrow never lets the facts get in the way of a bit of cheap promotion.